Hello my darling child,
I know you feel so lost and alone right now. I know you are searching so desperately for something you cannot seem to find. I feel the hot tears rolling down your face, the ache from the hole in your chest. I hear your prayers begging to be enough. Please know with the certainty of a new dawn, I am right here with you, by your side. I am holding you in my arms and whispering the words “I love you” into your ear. I know the screams are so loud right now that you cannot hear me. My words are drowned to whispers but I promise you I am always saying them. I never stop.
I know you are tired and want to know if and when this feeling of separation, this loneliness, will end. The taste of the tears you cry is bitter and full of fear and self doubt. Let me wipe those tears my love, because there is no one that is as exquisite and perfect as you are to me.
I feel your confusion and hesitancy to take the step, to open the door and walk through. That is perfectly fine my love. The door will not go anywhere. It waits silently, and with no judgement, for you to open it and feel the warmth and loving embrace of the light on the other side.
Your fear is a sort of grace. You dance with it. You hold it close to you only to release it and lovingly say goodbye when the time is right. The fear is as sacred as you are, for without the fear there is no courage and no growth. If the seed was too afraid to push itself open and reach for the light, not knowing what is on the other side, there would be no life for it. You are the seed my darling, my love. Seeking, stretching and pushing through to the light.
I will never leave you no matter how many times you turn away or how deeply you try to bury me. I will be with you through the darkest of nights. I am always there in the laughter of a child, in the eyes of your lover and in the sun as it warms your upturned face. I am in every beat of your broken heart.
Rest for now my beautiful child. Lay your head down and dream of the light. I am here with you and will hold you while you dance through the stars. I will be there to hold your hand when you choose to awaken, and we will walk through the door together.
All my love to you.